well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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