I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
