Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
