I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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