I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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