His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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