I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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