just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How's work?
Spinning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
