just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
