So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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