Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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