Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize