tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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