so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
