uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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