6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
