i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize