wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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