and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my shit smells like andre
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
