Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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