Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
