Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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