so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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