a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
