I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize