ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
