some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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