Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize