im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
