So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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