She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
