If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
