I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wish my penis had a tongue
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take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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