break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
