I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
do nipples grow back?
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