Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
