do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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