So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
