I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
