I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
