I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
