I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize