so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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