My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
