You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
