I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
