How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
