i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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