Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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