so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
