you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
