So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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