im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize