My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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