the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
