Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
