I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
