I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
