Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
