I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
