so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
