Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
