I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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