I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize