i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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