Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
