I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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