I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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