Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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